1. |
I Am A Very Festive Man
02:51
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my lights are so shiny
my inflatable Santa so merry
i've got
popcorn on the trees
mistletoe & holly
i found a real baby for my
nativity scene
space heaters out there
and someone to keep him clean
about a thousand ornaments
donning every possible space
i just feel so mighty
like i cannot be replaced
even sister mary down the street
says my
work ethic can't be beat
articles in the paper
about my
festive family
i got the chimney cleaned this year and i've hired some strange man
to break into our house [christmas morning]
with every toy he can
my kids are gonna be so excited
the tension's in the air
i can feel it in my goosebumps and the end of every hair
power outages in the neighborhood every christmas season
lawsuits from the neighbors and power companies
but i
i know i'm right
even sister mary down the street
says my
work ethic can't be beat
articles in the paper
about my
festive family
i am a very festive man.
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2. |
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it's christmas
but i'm a goth
rain black snow on me
i let it
take heat from my body
put mascara
on the tree
drape it with velvets
look at it sadly
i wish my goth friends were here
but they're
all with their families
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[rockin guitar solo]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
so all i can do now
is sit and sigh
the cure on in the background
wishing i was somewhere else
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3. |
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all i want for christmas is some extra napkins
please
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4. |
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|
This gift that you've given me is dastardly
It's causing me quite a fit
Jerry, I knew you were angry with me but this really is some shit
What happened to last Christmas when we were the best of buds
You gave me that nice wool vest
And we exchanged the biggest of hugs
Now that vest is all mangled and discarded on the floor
You gave it to your dog to chew up
Just like my lonesome heart
Jerry, I never knew it would come to this
I'm so sorry for what I did
I never wanted to be on your naughty list
Well Max, you shouldn't have hurt me so
I guess it was cruel to do to you
But maybe you shouldn't have left me
Alone in the snow
Crying with my very fancy sled
Lonesome on a snow day
Just last weekend
Jerry I really wish I had been there
I wanna be better to you
And I want us to take good care
Jerry I never knew it would come to this
I'm so sorry for what I did
I never wanted to be on your
Naughty liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
ST!
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5. |
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We couldn't get a tree this year
but I promise we'll make due
I'm so sorry you're sad mom
I love you
we'll hang up some nice ornaments
up on curtain rods
lights on strings up and around
taped to the wall
we'll get that jolly warmth in here
we'll make it feel bright
until it's like your parents are still here
until you feel alright
So come on, mom
I'll pour you some eggnog
we'll drink and we'll sing
your family's still in the air
in everything
come on, mom
I'll pour you some eggnog
we'll drink and we'll sing
your family's still in the air
in everything
We couldn't get a tree this year
but that's alright
we'll get us a good fire going
all through the night
we'll open up the chimney flue
play stupid old songs
let Mitch Miller speak to you
and try to be strong
try to be strong
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Railroad & Alabaster Providence, Rhode Island
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